Because of You
by AVANEEDEN
Summary: After Michael's revelation of the escape plan, Sara has to make a decision that threatens to tear her and Michael apart.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Because of You

**Characters:** Michael/Sara

**Spoilers:** Pretty much the whole of season 1

**Author:** AvanEeden

**Warnings:** None

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Prison Break or any of its characters.

**Summary:** Following his revelation about the escape plan, Sara has to make a decision that threatens to tear her (and Michael) apart.

The Scotch simply wasn't enough. She needed a different fix. She took the morphine from the cupboard in the prison infirmary not knowing whether or not she would actually use it. It was insurance for the event that she could not cope, could not get her mind out of the rut that it was stuck in. The guilt, the lies, the deceit. Hers, her father's and Michael's.

What she did went against all her convictions. She spent ages crying in her car, desperately looking for an answer, a means to an end. An end to her pain. Yet she found none. Images of him sweep through her mind. The first time he came into the infirmary. He was not like the other convicts. He was polite, laid back, relaxed even. He even introduced himself. As if it was normal to be in prison.

The only times she sensed any tension in him was when she tested his diabetic status. He seemed anxious then. Of course it all makes sense now. He had lied to her, faked illness in order to get access to the infirmary. During the riot – he was concerned for her safety and their ability to outrun the convicts trying to get to them. Her question about how he knew where to go caught him off-guard, but she was too occupied with the situation at hand and how she was going to get out of it safely to think much of it.

She remembers the look of hope on his face when the phone rang - then disappointment when her father refused to grant Lincoln clemency. The shear pain on his face when Lincoln was taken to his death. Her concern for his health when he was admitted to the infirmary with a serious burn. That night in solitary when he seemed dead to the world. His blank stare haunted her, made her want to hold him tight and never let go.

But then he lied to her. The kiss still confuses her. Was it real, made from real emotions and feelings or was it some cheap attempt to steal her keys. Was he overcome with guilt at using her and then decided to use Nika to get to her? Was it all an act? He told her that it was – at first anyway. That he needed to be with her, but then wanted to be with her. She wants to believe it. She is desperate to believe it. That someone could actually love her like that. But she doesn't know what to believe anymore.

Her whole life consists of betrayal. Her mother died when she was young, leaving her to tend to her family. Her father was too preoccupied with his own ambitions and aspirations to pay much attention to her. So she turned to drugs to relieve the pain and the loneliness. It worked – for a while at least. Until that boy died in front of her. She should have been able to do something, but her drug induced stupor prevented her from doing so.

She had pulled herself together. Managed to put her life back together again. Do what she had intended to do – help other people, make a difference. At a prison no less, but it was something. She often doubted her ability to really make a difference, but with him there was no doubt. She knew that she could get through to him. She just needed time. Then he turned her whole life upside down with his confession about breaking his brother out.

She couldn't believe she was so stupid. All the signs were there, her questions and concerns answered. Him knowing exactly where to go to escape the other convicts during the riot. How unlike the other prisoners he was actually polite, well-mannered, charming even. His education and intelligence.

And after dropping that bombshell, after all the lies he actually had the audacity to ask her to help them. To leave the door to the infirmary open. She spent hours walking alongside the lake contemplating whether she should. Her guilt over her father's involvement. His inability to forgive his daughter for her past mistakes. That's what drove her over the edge. Her decision was simple, at least so she thought. When she was sitting in her car outside the prison all her doubts and fears came swarming back.

As she walked inside she had no idea what she would end up doing. As she was about to exit her office she found herself staring at the shelf containing the morphine. It was an easy escape from the pain, the betrayal. As she sat in the car it became too much. She started to cry.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

It feels like ages before she is able to stop the flow of tears and finally drive herself home. Once there she refuses to open her purse. Merely changes clothes and pours herself a double shot of Scotch. She prays that it will be enough to kill the pain, the betrayal that she feels. She settles on the couch, pulling the blanket over her in a final attempt at some comfort. As she sits on the couch she replays the day's events through her head. She takes a swig of the Scotch, then another. It burns her throat, but it does not burn away the pain. She eyes her handbag, knowing of the easy escape its contents hold.

Damn him, damn his lies. The syringe and morphine is in her hands before she registers what she is doing. It doesn't matter anymore. She slowly draws the contents of the bottle into the syringe, not bothering to measure the dosage. She barely registers the prick of the needle in her arm. The warm flow of liquid into her vein. Merely closes her eyes.

Even as the drug starts to spread through her body, dulling her senses and her mind she cannot escape the images of him that are assaulting her. His green eyes boring into her, seeing far more than she could ever imagine. His gentle touch, the feel of his mouth on hers, running his fingers through her hair. The images start to fade - slowly - until only darkness remains.


	3. Chapter 3

"Caucasian female, 29, acute morphine overdose. ETA 5 minutes". The paramedics were working fast. They had no idea how long she had been unconscious before the police had broken into her apartment. They found Scotch next to her and the problem was that they didn't know how much alcohol she had consumed before injecting herself with the morphine. 

Fortunately she had taken no additional medication, otherwise she would probably be dead. Her pulse was weak, breathing labored. She was hanging on by a thread. They were administering naloxone hydrochloride intravenously and assisting her respiration in an attempt to keep her alive. Once at the hospital the doctors would have to do the rest.

At Northwestern Memorial Hospital they rushed her out of the ambulance and inside the ER. Two doctors rushed to the gurney. "We'll have to perform gastric suction. Then administer activated charcoal and a laxative" the one barked to the nurse. "Make sure she receives enough intravenous fluids". "Yes doctor". They had to work quickly. The faster they could clean her out, the more likely she would be to survive.

"Has her family been notified?" "Yes, her father is on his way. Governor Tancredi". "Soon-to-be Vice President Tancredi? Dammit! Let's hope we have some good news for him".

Frank Tancredi stormed into the ER. Part of him filled with concern, the other furious as to why his daughter would overdose. One of the nurses recognized him and rushed to provide him with some news. "Governor, my name is Dana Willis. Your daughter has just been admitted to the ER. She is weak, but stable. If you could please wait in the waiting room? The doctor will be with you soon".

"Will she make it?" he asked slightly calmer. "I'm afraid that is a question you'll have to ask the doctor sir" nurse Willis answered. "I'll inform him you're here and we'll keep you posted on her condition". "Thank you". Frank Tancredi sat down hoping that the wait would not be long.

The van sped through the darkness, Lincoln at the wheel. Michael was the older brother until recently. Not in age, but in maturity and conduct. Based on the past year's events however, Lincoln was more than ready to take back control of his life and be the older brother again. He owed it to Michael. The radio was on keeping them alert to the police's progress in their search.

_Chicago police have still been unable to apprehend any of the inmates that escaped from Fox River State Penitentiary earlier this evening. Local law enforcement has been deployed along with members of the National Guard in order to recapture the fugitives. Illinois governor Frank Tancredi has promised that the fugitives will be apprehended and brought to justice. And in related news, Sara Tancredi, daughter of Governor Tancredi has been admitted to Northwestern Memorial Hospital in a critical condition due to drug overdose.  
_

_  
_Michael didn't hear the rest of the report. His heart was in his throat. He leaned forward towards his brother. "Linc ... Sara. What have I done to Sara?"


	4. Chapter 4

He used colored contact lenses, a fake mustache and a wig to disguise himself. That combined with a white coat, stetoscope and fake hospital ID was all it took for him to be able to see her. It was the only way that he could check up on her. Make sure she was okay and maybe say that he was sorry.

He quietly turns the handle to her room and slips in. It is late at night. She should be asleep. If she is, he doesn't want to disturb her. He just wants to see her. The moonlight is streaming into her room through the window. It bathes her skin in a blueish, palish tinge. Her hair fans across the pillow as she lies asleep on her side. He draws closer to study her features. He has never seen her asleep. She looks young. Innocent. Peaceful.

He finds a chair next to her bed and carefully takes a seat. He sits and studies her features for ages, then finally works up the courage to whisper to her. "Sara?". "Sara, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you". She doesn't stir. He knows that he cannot stay much longer. He has risked too much already. "Sara, I have to go, but I'll come back. I promise. We'll talk. I'll explain everything. Tell you all you want to know. Just, … please… don't be mad at me. Please Sara". He bends over her and gently pushes some of her hair behind her ear. She stirs somewhat, but doesn't wake. Content that she is okay, he turns and walks out of her room, gently closing the door behind him.

She wakes to find the sun streaming into her room. She woke at four to the sound of the nurses scuttling in and out, but fell back asleep. She is strangely at peace, but still feels the sting of deception and betrayel Michael has left on her. The sun takes some of the winter chill away. If only it could relieve the chill of Michael's betrayel. She turns onto her back, wanting to get some water from the stand next to the bed when something red catches her eye. She reaches out and gently lifts the object with her fingers.

She gasps. A red origami flower – perfectly formed. All her anger evaporates. Michael? "Are you okay?" she whispers to herself. He has to be. Only he would leave this for her. He came back for her. He was here. A smile crosses her features. He's okay and he came back.


	5. Chapter 5

At the nurses station he informs one of the nurses that he is an old friend of Sara's back from Med school and that he wants to see her, but not be disturbed. The nurse agrees without hesitation. He slowly opens the door to her room, not wanting to startle her.

Even in the disguise she recognises him by his movements and presence. She can't help but smile. "Hey, you're awake. How are you feeling?". She winches at the question. "I, uh..." he stuffs his hands in his pockets not quite knowing what to say. "I heard what happened on the radio. I needed to see you. Make sure that you were alright".

He could feel the tension radiating through the room. He didn't know who was more tense - her or him. "I'm fine. I ... you shouldn't be here. You'll get caught". He shrugs. "I had to know that you were okay. If ..." He couldn't finish the sentence. The thought was too painful.

She saw his hesitation, his pain and his anguish. She felt sick. She was the reason he was feeling this way and at least he had a decent excuse for what he had done. Her actions on the other hand were that of cowardace. "Michael, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you".

He studied her for a moment before he replied. "I know, I just wish that you hadn't done what you had. It was stupid". "Yeah, I know. It..." She didn't get to finish her sentence. Michael's calmness had given way to anger. "You ask me if I'm after needles and drugs and then you go and shoot up? Dammit Sara, you nearly killed yourself. Do you have any idea what I've been through? How much I blame myself for involving you in this?"

His sudden anger caught her off-guard. She was at a loss for words. "I, uh... I" she signs. "I ... it was too much. Too much at once. First you turn my world upside down with your escape plan. I find out that all this time I was nothing more than a pawn to you. That it was all a lie. Then I find out that my father is so deeply involved in all of this that I can't possibly begin to comprehend where it all starts and where it ends. There were just too many lies. I couldn't think straight. Couldn't get my head around it all. When I went to unlock the door for you, I walked right by the cabinet – it was an escape. I took it as a way out. I didn't ... I wasn't sure that I would use the morphine, that I would need it. When I got home it was ... it was my only way out. I just wanted to stop thinking, stop feeling... dammit!" She's crying. Tears that she swore she would never shed in front of him. Not over this.

She feels a warm and protective arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him. He gently holds her to him, rubs her back in a circular motion, soothing her. "It's okay. You're going to be okay". She rests her head under his chin. "What about us? Are we going to be okay?" she asks. He smiles, places a kiss on her forehead. "Yeah. Yeah...we might be a bit worse for wear, but we'll be alright".


End file.
